Help me write a reply to this scam spam.

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Help me write a reply to this scam spam.

Post by Can-ned_Food »

Disclaimer: I admit that this one is most likely to become quite inane quite rapidly. If so, then I ask that you pass it by and not grudge me the waste of your time.

I received this earlier today:
sufia.rees3@_._ wrote:Hello Dear,

PLEASE CONTACT ME HERE 16mrssfia.rees16@_._

Please forgive me for stressing you with my predicaments as I know that this letter may come to you as big surprise. Actually, I came across your E-mail from my personal search afterward I decided to email you directly believing that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before i die. Meanwhile, I am Mrs.Sufia Rees 62 years old, from America, and I am suffering from a long time cancer and from all indication my condition is really deteriorating as my doctors have confirmed and courageously
advised me that I may not live beyond two months from now for the reason that my tumor has reached a critical stage which has defiled all forms of medical treatment. As a matter of fact, registered nurse by profession while my husband was dealing on Gold Dust and Gold Dory Bars in Burkina Faso till his sudden death the year 2008 then I took over his business till date. In fact, at this moment I have a deposit sum of four million five hundred thousand US dollars [$4,500,000.00] with one of the leading
bank in Burkina Faso but unfortunately I cannot visit the bank since I’m critically sick and powerless to do anything myself but my bank account officer advised me to assign any of my trustworthy relative, friends or partner with authorization letter to stand as the recipient of my money but sorrowfully I don’t have any reliable relative and no child.

Therefore, I want you to receive the money and take 50% to take care of yourself and family while 50% should be use basically on humanitarian purposes mostly to orphanages home, Motherless babies home, less privileged and disable citizens and widows around the world. and as soon as I receive your I shall send you my pictures, banking records and with full contacts of my banking institution to
communicate them on the matter.DO NOT FORGET TO CONTACT ME HERE 16mrssfia.rees16@_._
Hope to hear from you soon.
Yours Faithfully,
Mrs.Sufia Rees
For some reason, I decided to read this one — in plain text, of course.
Soon thereafter, I wanted to write a reply — using a disposable email account a.k.a. a “burner” — and mention something about how much I too enjoyed me a delicious Gold Dory Bar, but how I was recovering from a painful bout of withdrawals off Gold Dust and …

Well, so on. I probably will not actually do so; however, it gave me an idea.

Let us all write a reply in turns. Here are the rules:
  • Two sentence maximum, of intelligible grammar, per reply.
  • Each sentence needs to have some reasonable connection to the previous sentence.
  • Replies from the same author need a minimum distance of six (6) sentences. Of course, that could be anything from three to six other replies.
  • The entire reply needs to parse as though it could genuinely be a reply: if it begins going off on some tangent about Ranger Danger's adventures in the Mathemagican countryside, then something went wrong — unless, of course, such is pertinent to the reply.
    A good rule of thumb: If your sentence, out of context, seems like it could belong in a scam for itself, then it is probably acceptable.
Of course, all the other rules for posting apply also. Nothing too obscene or whatever, I can't remember them — hah, just kidding! :whistle:

Anyways. Let's begin.
Mrs.Sufia Rees, I am both honored, but also appalled, that you would contact me with such a request. Looking back at my own documents, I seem to recall that you had at least one nephew who held a rather prominent position in his local civil service.
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Re: Help me write a reply to this scam spam.

Post by The_Gnat »

Haha ;)

"I am shocked and deeply concerned that you would reject a member of your own family and instead offer the inheritance to myself. You must forgive your nephew for what he did in past, putting aside all that fills your heart with hatred, for how it would sadden myself to see you pass on knowing you held such a grudge and were destined to the eternal abyss."
Creator of: The Reign of The Lords Era,The Gnats Franken Dungeon
Co-designer of the (not-wesnoth) space combat video game Planet Bounce.
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