Ruin A Wish: Short stories

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Dugi
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Dugi »

Granted. You study physics for ten years, and realise that you're insanely talented and physics and develop a stable 64-qubit quantum computer with your research group. You are awarded with a Nobel prize for your groundbreaking progress that will make great progress in all kinds of scientific simulations and theoretical calculations, ranging from quantum chemistry to Monte Carlo simulations of particle systems. You spend a part of your share of the monetary part of the award to buy a quantum computer for yourself.

You help develop some compilers for this platform, and when they are done, you cool it down and start programming. It compiles pretty much everything instantly, but sometimes it takes up to ten seconds because the compilers are new and not really good. However, the cost of liquid helium for cooling and the cost of the electricity used for the cooling itself exceeds your income, and you are getting poorer and poorer. You decide to use your quantum computer to break the encryption and hack a bank's server to earn a lot of money. You are preparing for the hardest part of the project, getting your money out of the bank. However, this part of the plan becomes fatal.

NSA used the quantum computer to decrypt many encryptions already, and knows pretty much everything. They learn of your plan and arrest you. During their further investigations, you learn that their system of automatic intelligence run on quantum computer can understand human words and can check millions of documents in a second, making it almost impossible to hide from them. You are sentenced to ten years in prison for attempted fraud of massive scale. In prison, you are struck with guilt what monstrosity NSA has and you have created, and desperately seek ways to create a system for quantum cryptography, the only way to stop them.


I wish somebody did not ruin this wish.
Raijer
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Raijer »

Granted. Though since i'm not called "nobody", and i'm abusing of the subtilities of the english language (by the way, i think you should have said "i wish no one would ruin this wish" to be safe), i can easily ruin this wish:
Understanding that your ability in english wasn't enough to trick the wesnothian community, you become a shut-in nerd that thinks only about learning every languages existing on earth, so that you can now trick anyone. Unfortunately, it takes so much time that by the time you're finished, you die from age without saying a word of any of those languages.

(That one was nice to ruin, i might have gone too far into delirium)

I wish i could control time (slow/stop/rewind/fast-forward).
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley
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Great_Mage_Atari
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Great_Mage_Atari »

Granted. You stop time and instantly die of asphyxiation due to the fact that the air isn't moving. Whoops.

I wish for apple pie with nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
pauline
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by pauline »

*
Objection ! :eng:

Drakefriend » 30 Oct 2011, 10:30
I decided to introduce a new rule:
The format of a ruin from now on should be a story.
It does not have to be long, but corrupting with a sentence is no longer wanted.

Great_Mage_Atari, think of something better if you want your apple pie ! :D

Reply to Raijer
Granted. Time runs backwards, it´s about 60 minutes earlier, you haven´t posted your message yet.
As Dugi wished: GunChleoc, indeed, invents a 64-qubit quantum computer, and – OF COURSE – Dugi is member of his research group.
In fact, he is the boss's right-hand. In prison, the insanely talented GunChleoc quickly recovers, and – rid of money troubles –
his wits sharpen even more. Another stroke of genius, and he finds the solution to create a system for quantum cryptography.
Eager for knowledge, Dugi is hardly able to wait for the next visiting day. However, it turns out that his boss has lost the gift for languages:
the new plan is so super-superb-supreme it´s drawing the last resources of his cerebral activity, and GunChleoc can only express his idea
in some absolutely alien bafflegab: Scottish Gaelic !
An act of desperation drives our Dugi to spam the NSA quantum computer with "this thing is annoying me for quite some time"-applications
to release the prisoner ... to such extent that he himself is sentenced to ten years in prison for terrorist activities, large-scale cyberterrorism,
and disruption of computer networks. He happily agrees to become GunChleoc´s fellow inmate, and spends his days listening devoutly and
with rapt attention to the exquisite sounds the Master articulates, wishing fervently that he could make out a single word of his wise saying.

NOW, Raijer activates "fast-forward", he just pronounced his delirium on the thread: "I can easily ruin this wish ..." and so on.
But something goes wrong: Time stops. And this game, as well. For eight month ... Why ??? How come ???
Well, it has already happened once ... on 01 Nov 2012 when AxalaraFlame posted a wish about Dugi´s influence on the Wesnothian community. :mrgreen:

That's the way it works with wishes, boys: Hope is the first step to disappointment.

I wish a good Wesnoth fairy came, and granted me three wishes.

Your turn if you want, Great_Mage_Atari ! Earn yourself a yummy pie ! :D
*
Last edited by pauline on March 11th, 2014, 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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nexinor
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by nexinor »

Granted. A wesnothian fairy comes, and grants you three wishes. However, a necromancer shows up and undoes them all.
He then kills you, and raises your undead corpse as a general of my armies, a slave to my will.
And your precious fairy is dead, because of a bad-guy stereotype.
pauline
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by pauline »

Is THAT all what you´ve got out of the "Advanced Strategies Guide", nexinor ? :shock:
It rather looks like YOU are the slave here, an addicted victim
of that endemic "Just kill – Problem solved"-illusion
which distinguishes the lower, more orc-like individuals.
The BfW-philosophy is based on the "Good shall triumph"-ideology, so
your necromancer might be able to kill a fairy … OR NOT:
If MY wish got fulfilled, she´d be one of those totally overpowered ones, of course !
But can a necromancer undo spells ? Don´t think so.
Anyway, I should´ve told you: I´m an undead myself, a wraith. ;)
And I guess visualizing me as "a slave to your will" is your own wish ?
That could be ruined all too easily: Just put your army under my control
and you´ll get a real good example of a bad-guy stereotype !
So, wanna give it another try ? :)
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Dugi
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Dugi »

Granted. A good fairy arrives and grants you three wishes. But only three. She warns you to think very profoundly what do you want, because each wish can be ruined and she fulfils only three wishes, not more. So you wish that another fairy would come, with infinite wishes and will never backfire. She grants you that wish, and the second fairy appears. However, she appears far away from you, in the middle of nowhere, and is first encountered by a group of bandits. The bandits first want to rob and rape her, and she is forced to tell what she is. And grants these wishes to them. They ask for wealth, alcohol, drugs, criminal syndicates under their control and so on, but then a boozed and stoned former bandit now drug cartel boss forgets to lock the door of her cell and she escapes. Back to her world, never to return.

It only makes you sad, because our world's reputation is ruined in the fairy world. The fairy who grants you the wish tries to explain them that it was her fault, they don't listen, it was the last fairy ever sent into this world. Disappointed by her own kind, she comes to your world and becomes your friend. You have two wishes left, but asking for more fairies and more wishes is no longer possible. You think of the possibilities what might be the other wishes. World domination? No, you aren't that kind of person. Utopia? Any attempts to create utopian societies failed miserably. Immortality for all humans? No, the world would be soon overcrowded and everyone would suffer. The decision is hard. You spent too much time thinking, and you got hungry. You ask where is the closest restaurant, and when you're told it's a twenty minutes walk, you think that it would be good if it was closer... granted! The restaurant is closer. One wish wasted for nothing, but the food in the restaurant is pretty good, and free for you, because the fairy was your friend.

You try to redeem that wish so that you could have more of them, but that isn't possible by the fairy law that your diminutive fairy friend cannot disobey, because she is already in disfavour of authorities. A single wish left... Panicked that something bad would happen, you ask for eternal peace. All wars suddenly stop, all belligerents suddenly decide to debate a peace treaty. All aggressive nations give up their plans of war and focus on strengthening their own hold over the civilians. Because war is no longer an option, many regional leaders take control of governments in many countries, because an uprising against them would be a civil war, and that is not possible any more. Tyrants rise in most countries, including yours. The few remaining democratical countries become stronger and more developed as it usually goes, and can overthrow the tyrants easily, but that would be cold war and that isn't possible. The masses cannot rise up against unpopular tyrants. Nothing prevents them from sending undesired people into concentration camps and perform inhuman experiments on them, nothing prevents them from polluting the planet, and what is the worst, the democratic countries invent a cure for old age, tyrants take it and forbid it to all civilians in their countries, so the tyrants are there pretty much forever. All you can do is to live in fear and obedience with your fairy friend.


I wish people wrote longer wish-ruining stories in this topic.
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GunChleoc
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by GunChleoc »

After much research, a mad scientist invents an endless story for you, and you can't read anthing else until you have finished it. The story goes like this:

Code: Select all

while(true)  print("Blah! Blah blah! ");
You would end up jumping from a bridge, because it is so boring, but of course you have to finish reading the story first.

I wish Dugi could escape from the endless loop.
pauline
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by pauline »

… Dugi, any idea why folks often fancy kill- or suicide-events regarding you ?
Yet another case of overbalance ? :lol:

As it happens, there´s that power "which would the Evil ever do, and ever does the Good".
GunChleoc, your wish is granted:
It´s the 64-qubit quantum computer you invented that finally connects to your brains (you´re still in prison, by the way),
and downloads this "system for quantum cryptography" you recently came up with (and some incredible powerfull Scots Gaelic spells, too).
With a concentrated potency never before seen, the quantum computer manages to fix ANY looping error,
including that never-ceasing, terrifying final outcome of my own, extremely stupid (!) "eternal peace"-wish,
as well as those damned hangs of my computer I´m frequently confronted with.

So, Dugi is safe for a little while,
and I wish that this "endless Blah-Blah-Blah-story" wasn´t about the BfW-developer-discussions. :D
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GunChleoc
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by GunChleoc »

pauline wrote:… Dugi, any idea why folks often fancy kill- or suicide-events regarding you ?
Yet another case of overbalance ? :lol:
Actually, in my story he is doomed to live on forever :lol:
pauline
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by pauline »

*
Yo, GunChleoc, YOUR wish is prudent and points at your noble character, MINE is base-souled, merely selfish: :oops:
As long as that dude either reads or practices bridge jumping he can´t act on the forums !
(doing stuff like offering info and advice, commenting on his mini campaign, writing short stories, setting explosives ... )
Gosh, how boring would that be ! :doh:
Thus, I made an effort to "ruin" your wish in such a way as to be more user-friendly,
hence in accordance with the overall aim of the BfW-management.
But you are right, I better refine my wish:

Dugi is, actually, doomed into an everlasting "local loop" on the BfW-board,
the only place the quantum computer can´t access: loop quantum gravity doesn´t work here,
any attempt to sneak in is immediately blocked by our fine moderators.
The geek from the Carpathian Mountains has to read that life-threatening boring story,
by virtue of eagerness to widen his horizons he even makes slow progress.
However, being harbored in our friendly community
he manages to display a maximum amount of self control, that also keeps him from seeking a bridge.
(Those on the forums or in campaigns aren´t high enough, anyway.)

As time goes by, GunChleoc – meanwhile bored as hell, too – shows mercy:
Beside that neverending story, Dugi is allowed to read the users´threads as well. Incredible as it sounds:
Not even this can shake his decisiveness to NOT look for relief per self-destruction.
Diatribes or insider attacks ( I know, unthinkable on our forums, but this is just a short story )
are more or less futile with a … what ? Lich ? Count Drăculea ? He might very well hang around forever.
:mrgreen:

Does this sound more appealing, suit your good intentions better, GunChleoc ?
My own wish remains unaltered … Dugi might not mind such content,
but in my opinion it would be a nightmare. :augh:
*
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Danwar132
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Danwar132 »

Granted,but the wishgranter doesn't know what that is,and bans you for a month instead.
After that,you learn that your'e banned for 2 months.
Then 3 months.
Then 4.
The next month,however,instead of seeing your computer in the morning
You see a TROLL.
Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

I wish for candy
Hey there!
Rawr.
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Dugi
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Dugi »

Granted. You get a candy. A beautiful one. Besides being visually beautiful, it's also amazingly tasty. It's also really big, because such awesome candies shouldn't be eaten in a single day. When you come home, you discover the candy on your table, gaze at it in awe and wonder if candies so magnificent are even worth being eaten. You leave it on the table, move it elsewhere when you need space on the table, show it to any visitors and postmen. After some time, a cult of candy-worshipers builds up around your humongous candy.

Because you are the first person to discover The Divine Candy, you become the leader of the cult. You name the cult 'Brothers of the Divine Candy', register the religion and create some Rules of the Candy like 'thou shalt not even licketh The Divine Candy'. Because it is so formidable, you show it to all neighbours, anybody who passes by, make expositions showing The Divine Candy and spread it photos over the internet. Most people who have seen the wonderful candy join your cult and start worshiping it. You become the High Priest of Brothers of the Divine Candy and become revered all over the world for spreading a peaceful and good natured religion. Your cult becomes one of the main religions on Earth.

However, this was against fate. The destiny of the candy was to be eaten, not to be prayed to. Its best before date approaches, and you see that the fall of the cult is approaching. You study how to extend its durability, but there aren't any good ways to insert chemicals deep into the candy without heretically damaging it. It doesn't seem to rot or stink, so you assume that there's still time, but the seed of fear remains deep within your mind. It makes it hard to sleep, so you spend many nights meditating before The Divine Candy. You discern no way to delay this seemingly inevitable destiny and start falling into lethargy. By understanding the mortality of your idol, the faith of you, the High Priest, shatters, and you are enchanted by the lovely smell of The Divine Candy.

You get obsessed by the question how can it taste. You try to eat similar candies first, but it does not satisfy your thirst for answers. After months of struggle, you succumb to the temptation of The Divine Candy and touch its end with your tongue. The taste is strange, probably because of the dust that covers most of it (you can't wash a candy, right?). So you lick off the surface of the dust and taste the brilliant taste of The Divine Candy. It is amazing. You keep licking it until you notice the daybreak and realise in horror that there is a huge perturbation on the surface of The Divine Candy. You fear that somebody enters the temple, so you prefer to run and let somebody else discover the heresy.

The heresy is discovered shortly after and cultists starting hunting for the blasphemer despite your commands. What is worse, the taboo is broken and people begin to secretly lick off or even bite off bits of The Divine Candy. The inquisition strengthens and anybody with bad teeth is the suspect. They incarcerate and interrogate anybody who visits a dentist. The dentists quickly lose their customers and start plotting to kill you. You secretly meet the Dentilluminati council and explain everything to them. They redirect their anger and destroy the leading elite of the cult, increasing your power on the cult. However, your secularist opinions weaken the cult and many of your flock convert to Pastafarianism. A group of Pastafarians and atheists get addicted on The Divine Candy's sweet juice. Despite your greatest efforts, The Divine Candy's size decreases and decreases.

At some point, you decide that you will not let the apostates eat your candy and take it home. You eat it in a single evening. It feels like being taken into the sugary heaven promised by the Brothers of the Divine Candy, but the morning after is terrible. Your teeth hurt as hell, you got diabetes and you are now the cult's n°1 betrayer. You travel somewhere far away where your cult isn't too widespread, change your appearance, but your rotten teeth still makes many people scorn you. You end up living in a remote country, alone, with unhealthy teeth and diabetes.


I wish I was less likely to procrastinate.
________________
Pauline wrote:Dugi, any idea why folks often fancy kill- or suicide-events regarding you ?
They envy the mind-absorbing stories I write :whistle:
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Danwar132
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Danwar132 »

Dugi wrote:
I wish I was less likely to procrastinate.
Nice story.

Granted.However,you start getting less time between your actions.
With less delaying of your events you do,you start becoming a very great boxer.
However,Things were bound to change.
Your actions son had less and less thinking behind them,and soon you were starting to act more...Violent.

You soon become infamous.The police try to arrest you.Everyone else fears you.even S.W.A.T. tried to stop you.
But they all stopped in their tracks when they see you can take down a man with ease.
Soon,however,less shopkeepers sell stuff to you.You start living in the streets,a lawless brute who does not think,only does phisical.
One day,however,a guy drops a 1000$ check,probably on accident.He didn't relize he lost it untill later.
You use the money to buy a plane to europe,where you have the last boxing match of your life.

Your first hit rippped through ypur foe's chest,killing him soon after you rip out his heart.
The crowd boos,and starts throwing fruit at you.
You grab a fruit,an apple,and throw it back to it's sender.
It flies into his face,and smashes him off the seat.(he was later found to have a broken skull.)He died.
You then throw the entire boxing ring at another section of the crowd,turning thrir bones into a fine white powder.
Soon a man comes twoard you."It''s time to make you pay for all your bad deeds...
and licking the CANDY!!!!!!!"he yells.You remember,the brotherhoood of the candy.that giant candy.
Then,he grabs you and smashes you on the floor.You spill across the floor,your guts flying and blood spewing everyehrere.]
Soon,you get what you deserve.
In Hell.
The guy who defeated you soon go down in history,loosing his infamy (especially by the cult) and going down in history as a hero.
The end.

I WISH,WITH MY WEALTH,POWER AND FAME,FOR ANOTHER GIANT CANDY!!! :D
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Rawr.
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Dugi
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Re: Ruin A Wish: Short stories

Post by Dugi »

Granted. When you're completely ruined in your hut in that remote place, you go hunting for food. When you return with your prey, you find an even greater candy on your table. Not only that it's far larger than the previous one, it is also more beautiful. Panicked, you check its best before date and learn that it will last for centuries. It is also covered with nanotechnological layers that protect it from dust. Amazed, you hire a truck, place the candy on its trunk and show it to the nearest remains of the cult. They are amazed by The Supreme Candy and spread the word about it.

In a few days, all the world knows about it and many previous apostates (either pastafarians or atheists) return to the Brotherhood of the Divine Candy. It spreads even faster than before and you get named a prophet. In the country with the greatest concentration of the Brotherhood, you are elected to the new post of Emperor, the Lord of Life, Death and Sugar. You become wealthy and powerful. After ten years, you discover that the Divine Candy you are had real divine powers, not only that it allowed you to smite Dugi the Shatterhand down, it also prevented you from aging and protected you from all disease.

At the top of the world, you become bored. You are thinking about accomplishing heroic feats, but there are no easily available villains. You perform an undercover operation to slay many dictators of the world, but they were no match for you, because your strength and endurance were greatly enhanced by The Divine Candy's juice. You start thinking how would you fight Dugi the Shatterhand if the had his intelligence back. Your thirst for adventure demands a challenge, and reviving him might be the answer. He licked the candy too, right? You have been checked by doctors who were unable to determine the origin of your powers, so you assume that they are divine, a gift from The Divine Candy. And then you think that what if your Nemesis is really dead or he can return? You try to look for him, but you fail.

But you are more and more sure that he's somewhere, hiding. You wonder what would happen if you ate a bit of The Supreme Candy. It might give you really divine powers. You approach your altar, spend days contemplating if this sacrifice is worth it or not, because you are a superhero, emperor and leader of a prominent religion in a single person. But it is just a small lick, nothing more. After days of internal struggle, you approach The Supreme Candy and lick it. The taste is too good. A strong addition afflicts you and you lick a large part of it. When you hear somebody coming, you regain your senses and lock yourself in a small room with a supply of water and basic food and a lock automatically locked for a week. After the week of horrible suffering, you feel detoxicated and leave the room.

And you realise with horror that your licking removed the nanolayer that protected The Supreme Candy from dust. Parts of it are covered with dust. You accuse the first person you see and he is mildly punished instead of you (he was a Brother Freshman and didn't know that it's so forbidden). But some people suspect you and many leave your religion for a new cult named The Cult of Atheios. Feeling like a cheated husband, you investigate the cult. You quickly learn that they are led by a mystical entity called The Necromancer, who teaches that there is no god and no candies are divine. All cultists eat Haribo candies in large numbers, and feel no reverence towards them. Furthermore, they're trying to recreate The Divine Candy to become superhuman themselves and spread its sacred powers on all humans equally in order to eliminate all diseases and grant immortality to all men and women. You're greatly offended by that sacrilege and decide to use your superhero powers to infiltrate the cult.

You quickly proceed into its inner circles and are granted an audience with The Necromancer. When you see him, you're scared to see that he's no man, but a skeleton with only pieces of dessicated skin on his otherwise bare bones. He covers a lot of it in his longcoat, but he's still scary. He asks you what do you want and you deceptively reply that you alwayf wondevved if he waf weawwy a fupewnapuwaw being and that you'aw amafed by feeing fomefing wike him (since you don't have teeth anymore, the power of The Candy comes at a cost). He replies that your flattery is not going to work, because he knew of you from the start. And he secretly extracted a bit of your blood to gain samples of The Divine Candy. He allows you to leave, telling that having regained his wits, he thinks of himself as a humanist and does not want to kill those who don't deserve it. You realise that you are talking to Dugi the Shatterfist, who had apparently returned.

He explains that while burning in hell, he didn't suffer much because he was nearly mindless and wasn't able to understand that it will go on forever. Devils restored his mind to enhance his suffering, but while he was waiting for another torture procedure, he realised that the power of The Divine Candy called for him. He punched his way of of hell and was revived, although not quite well preserved. He rose from the grave and started a secret cult, initially for revenge, but later he found it a more rational purpose. You tried to kill him, but his combat skills were good and you could not kill what was killed already. After a heavy melee, you leave the cult chambers.

You call for a crusade, hoping that your Nemesis' bones will not regrow quickly enough. A large army assembles and approaches the cult headquarters. They find a huge pile of Haribo candies. Because they aren't Divine nor Supreme, they eat them and remember how good are candies when eaten. They leave for a nearby supermarket to buy more Haribo candies. Dugi the Necromancer comes to you to mock you, and you realise that he simply used epoxide resins to stick his bones together. You come back to the Altar Room and spot a load of people licking The Supreme Candy. You try to stop them, but they're already empowered by it and fend you off, beating you unconscious. When you wake up, you see a small remain of The Supreme Candy on the altar. You finish it and leave, wondering where everyone's gone.

You read a newspaper and learn that a scientifically provable cure for all diseases including age that also enhances the body's abilities was discovered by a masked scientist known only as Dugi. You're no longer a superhero, because a superhero in a world of superheroes is an ordinary human. Your cult fell because nobody believed in Divine Powers if they had them available at hand and no longer a matter of faith. With your superpowers and power gone, you give in to your candy addiction and waste all of your wealth on expensive candies, and end up poor and broken, furthermore bound to live forever.


I wish I could fly.
_________________
Danwar132 wrote:You use the money to buy a plane to europe,where you have the last boxing match of your life.
My location is Carpathian Mountains, that is very much in Europe. I don't need to fly into a place where I already am.
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